I had an interview at Leto high school the other day for the adult education program. The guy I interviewed with seemed to like me, but the first thing he asked me about was if I had this certification letter from the state saying I could teach. I had no idea what he was talking about, as nobody at the Hillsborough county school board ever mentioned it to me. I guess they assumed I knew and i didn't know so i never thought to ask. I felt prettty dumb.. but he and i talked for awhile after, he gave me the information and I filled out the application and now that my transcripts are sent in I should be on my way.
I've been considering leaving town. I'm bored here. I've had this general sense of restlessness for the past few years, which I owed to circumstances in my life. Now that those circumstances are no longer present and I still feel that restlessness I'm thinking perhaps going somewhere else may hold appeal. Or maybe just doing something different. I'm honestly a bit worn out on bars and clubs and drinking. or maybe I'm just tired of being the blah me I've become over the past few years, the reserved one that keeps his passions in and tempers everything. Tempered Tony. I'm not a fan of him. I think of a LTJ song..
"I have this feeling inside that i wouldn't like me if i met me
It seems like a losing fight,
If you could see through my eyes then you'd believe me.
The truth is that i'm overrated, I can't think straight I'm formulaic, the truth is that it's sad to say it, but you can't help me......
I've always known a ghost like me, can disappear in a moment,
I'm my own worst casualty, everything I touch can get broken" (thanks AZlyrics for not forcing me to type those from memory..)
and I hate feeling like that. I hate getting left out when I'm in group conversations because I'm too quiet and don't like talking over people. I hate not being heard, and felt, and having people in my life I care about not feel it because I'm so damn reserved and mellow.
So yeah. A proactive me is a happier me, most definitely.